J'ai eu un rêve hier soir

Last night, I took a very long walk. Past all of the places that have some sort of importance to me, and I came back, ready to write about something that didn't need to be said in the first place. But I said it, and I feel bad for it. But it's whatever. That's not why I'm posting, I actually have something of meaning to say here. So I feel this is where it begins.

I had a dream last night (we drove out to see Las Vegas). No, but it may have been this morning, I'm not sure, the importance of it though, is that it was eye opening to an extent. I wont divulge into the problem in the dream, as I feel it isn't that important to what I did in the dream. When faced with the diversity of the situation, I ran. I ran, and I hid. And I watched as my friends and family looked for me, and was concerned for me.

In an existential kind of way, I feel that it showed me how I'm always running from my problems, and I can't continue to do this, not anymore. I need to, have to, must accept the things I have to accept. Not because it's best for me, which it is, because I have far too much to lose if I don't, like the friendship of someone who means so much to me, and I have been selfish lately, simply put.

Anyway, back to the dream, the dream ended in a very interesting way. I was walking down the road, a very unfamiliar one, but it reminded me of a road I've been down back in Vermont that I used to walk down with my Grandmother. There was snow on the ground and in the trees, and it was bitterly cold, and however, I could not see my breath before me. I was walking alongside a river/stream, and before I could do anything, the snow was gone, and I was undertaken by a fierce deluge. And in a cliche/trite way, swirling around me were all my friends and family who were looking for me the entire time.

I can't begin to understand much of anything about my dream, but I feel that in some ways it was an eye opener for me to come to terms with some things, and face the reality of my truth right now.

Si vous ne pouvez pas voir quel est devant vous, alors vous ne saurez jamais ce qu'est d'autre dehors

that is all for now